I had a supervisor who once took me on a little stroll around the campus of our large corporation to fill me in on what was wrong with my career trajectory. His summation? That I had a "confidence issue." I said, "Well, I wouldn't be able to make that assessment, myself, but you if you think it's the case, I guess it's probably true." This was a joke that went right over his head.
For what it's worth, that same man once took me for a beer, and pocketed his wedding ring upon spying an attractive woman sitting at the bar. So, you know, his idea of confidence bumps up against my idea of sociopathy.
Telescoping sensations: feeling as if I have a place in the universe versus feeling like I am one of the incalculably insignificant mass of humanity. Encountering new people always bring this feeling up, which, I suppose, is why I find myself a small room to sit in and prefer to stay there for decades.
Duluth makes an appearance both because that was where my father (inexplicably) ended up retiring, and where I went to fetch him when he made his final move to be closer to me in Vermont, and also because I had been watching Maria Bamford. Feeling close to my Midwestern roots, and bemused by the idea that a version of Hell involves an endless haunting of past transgressions (however slight) through grating politeness.
Guy is weighing the possibility that there might exist a reality of positive change in the world. He holds his hands in hope, but the prospect remains terrifying.
I had a supervisor who once took me on a little stroll around the campus of our large corporation to fill me in on what was wrong with my career trajectory. His summation? That I had a "confidence issue." I said, "Well, I wouldn't be able to make that assessment, myself, but you if you think it's the case, I guess it's probably true." This was a joke that went right over his head.
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, that same man once took me for a beer, and pocketed his wedding ring upon spying an attractive woman sitting at the bar. So, you know, his idea of confidence bumps up against my idea of sociopathy.
Telescoping sensations: feeling as if I have a place in the universe versus feeling like I am one of the incalculably insignificant mass of humanity. Encountering new people always bring this feeling up, which, I suppose, is why I find myself a small room to sit in and prefer to stay there for decades.
Duluth makes an appearance both because that was where my father (inexplicably) ended up retiring, and where I went to fetch him when he made his final move to be closer to me in Vermont, and also because I had been watching Maria Bamford. Feeling close to my Midwestern roots, and bemused by the idea that a version of Hell involves an endless haunting of past transgressions (however slight) through grating politeness.
Guy is weighing the possibility that there might exist a reality of positive change in the world. He holds his hands in hope, but the prospect remains terrifying.